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Q

My son is 16 years old. He fails to comply with any rules of the house. There have been terrible fights wherein he has also pushed me and slapped me. He has constant complains and remarks from school for aggressive and abusive behaviour. Please help?

 

Mrs. Jadhani

Ans :

What you have described here is probably a classic case of  " conduct disorder" which could worsen without timely intervention as it is not a "passing phase" in a teenager's life. Your family should consult with a psychiatrist who can evaluate the symptoms and guide you with defined rules, boundaries and consequences for this behaviour. Psychotherapy and counseling is a must, which will connect your son's feelings to his reactive behaviour. Family therapy sessions and medications too are useful.

   

Q

I am an 18 years old girl. I have just broken up with my boyfriend and I know that I have lost all my self - esteem and confidence. I feel like cutting or hurting myself and I think of death a lot. I cannot talk to my parents as they are old fashioned and I feel isolated

 

Preena A.

Ans :

Dear Preena, what you have described shows that you are going through "clinical depression." A break up can be very traumatic, but as you've stated above, you have done the right thing. Depression can make a person feel incapacitated and not in control as "neuro - chemicals" in your brain have been imbalanced, making you feel this way. Suicidal ideations are a part of the symptoms of depressions and need to seek help through a counselor, where you will get a chance to express inner feeling and emotions. Please do take that first step and seek help - it's all there!

   

Q

Dear Sir, I am 25 years old. I am an ambivalent person, I get along well with people but only after a period of time. How can I become more comfortable with people, especially strangers? Also, I am not too good at basic grooming skills. Are there websites or books that can help ?

 

A

Ans :

"A smile" is the most important non verbal communication skill. It helps to break 'the ice' between strangers. The first four seconds when you meet someone are the most crucial. Remember you can be superficially polite but naturally rude. For basic grooming skills you can consider doing a course in personality development at the Personality School (22029541 / 42)

   

Q

I come from a vernacular medium background. I am scared of making friends or approaching people in college. I do not have a good personality because I cannot speak good English. Please help.

 

Suganhi Padwa

Ans :

You can have broken English skills but a terrific personality. you can speak the Queens English but have a bad personality. Personality has nothing to do with speaking fluently in English. It is to do with positive attitude, enthusiasm and energy display.

Garry's note for the day Body Language : Several years ago. I attended a seminar in Chicago conducted by one of the top speakers of America. I was intrigued with the speech and I went backstage to meet with this celebrity. This person is 6'6" in height I am about 5'6" in all, but standing next to me, I actually thought he was shorter to me. The way his body was placed, to make me comfortable and not intimidated, spoke volumes about his personality. That day I understood the meaning of "Body language".

   
 

(To get your queries answered, write to The Personality Guru Gautam Garry Guptaa at garygucci2000@hotmail.com

   

Q

Hi Garry, I am 20 years old. Since childhood, I have had a problem of stammering, due to which I face a lot of difficulty in communicating with others. Is there any solution ?

 

XYZ

Ans :

It would be a good idea to consult a speech therapist. There are two hospitals offering speech therapy in Mumbai, Mata Lachmi (Sion), All Yavar Jung, bandra (W). According to personality Gurus across the world, always convert all your weaknesses into strengths for yourself. Try top convert your weakness into humour, charm and accept that there is a problem.

   

Q

Hi, I am 28 years old. I can barely converse in English. I am unable to speak during group discussions. I wish to develop my personality and language skills.

 

Pradeep Patel

Ans :

To develop a better proficiency in English, you need to join an English speaking course. It comes in three levels : the basic, the intermediate and the advanced.

For group discussions and debates you should join a personality development workshop where you get trained in all aspects of persona - building, including mock interview sessions.

   

Q

I am 23 years old, and have completed electronics engineering. I am always excited and restless. I often tell myself before an interview, "Calm down Sarfy" and do things like breathing deeply and counting backwards. I am a confident and outspoken man otherwise.

 

Sarfy

Ans :

Sarfy, physical exercise is something you can always rely on because it helps reduce stress, anxiety and fatigue. Walking, yoga or physical training is some forms of exercise. To divert your attention just before an interview, read a book or listen to music that relaxes you.

 

 

Q

I would like to gift a tie to my boy friend. What should be the ideal size ?

 

Jenny Malhotra

Ans :

When choosing a tie, the first thing you want to consider is the length of the tie. The length of the tie should be 57 - 58 inches, the width of the tie at the broadest end should be 9.5 centimeters.

   
 

(To get your queries answered, write to The Personality Guru Gautam Garry Guptaa at garygucci2000@hotmail.com

 

 

Q

Is a good personality inherent or can you really work on having one?

 

 

Ans :

Dear Naved, personality is an art. Though art is inherent, personality can be developed and the skills of communication can definitely be inculcated. A positive mind, healthy attitude and the willingness to serve humanity through communication can go a long way in developing a good personality.

 

 

Q

What is the best compliment I can give my husband ? What do you think he will appreciate the most ?

 

 

Ans:

A survey was conducted last year as to what it is that a man likes to hear about himself the most. A lot of people thought it would be having a good personality. But 84 percent of the men who answered the questionnaire voted for being called a 'Workaholic'. Yes that's true.

 

 

Q

Dear Garry, I work on a senior level in a public sector undertaking. Somehow, I always feel I perform better when I independently handle any assignment rather than under somebody who, in my opinion, is not superior in skill or knowledge. I introspect a lot about my personality and have a feeling that I am somehow not natural in my inter - personal relationships. I feel uncomfortable around people whom I don't share common interests with. I do not know how to take a conversation further.

 

 

Ans :

Krishna, you could consider doing a course in inter - personal skills, which would help you enhance your personality and make you extremely accessible in society. For a good course, call The personality School at 22029541 / 42

 

 

Q

Never Say "No". According to the "moments of truth," every time you say "No" in life, you close a wardrobe of opportunities and every time you say "Yes," you open a world of prospects.

 

 

Ans :

Being the fortunate one to be invited as the chief guest of The Rotary Club (Bombay Sea Face), I realized how important it is for people to be successful and identify the definition of the term success. Many people who had achieved success wanted to know how to maintain it. The enthusiasm of the people attending the programmed encouraged me to devise a formula for success called the Ten Cs - on how to become successful. An interesting conclusion also seemed to have appeared : Success is, after all, a journey, not a destination. Somebody told Dr. Isaac Newton, "Sir, I think you are excellent." He replied, " I am still picking pebbles from the sea of knowledge."

   
 

Write to
garygucci2000@hotmail.com to get your queries answered by personality expert Gautam Garry Guptaa, Director (personality development and corporate training division) of The Personality School Mumbai. Or call on 65259077 / 9769821729

   

Q

Hi Garry ,I have secured 85 per cent in SSC and wish to evaluate different options for a career. please help .

 

Sadaf

Ans :

Congratulations Sadaf! Eighty five per cent is an excellent score. There are many counselors in Mumbai who can help you decided the course you would like to accomplish and the country you would like to pursue it form. You can call one of top most counselors in Mumbai at ECO Pvt. Ltd. Phone No.56603317/8/9

 

 

Q

I am working in a tele - marketing company. I have no answer more than 100 calls per day and at times, I become  rude when I answer clients who start complaining in an abusive manner. Can you suggest how I should improve my telephone manners and mind control over abusive clients?

 

Ravi

Ans :

Dear Ravi, the customer is always right. Patience and perseverance should be your biggest virtues. Every time you get a call you have to learn to treat the call in the same manner as the first call of the day. Every time you answer the call rudely (I know its merely because of work  pressure), it becomes a moment of truth. And yes, not to forget, never disagree with the customer.

 

 

Q

My Body Language is not comfortable when I go out for parties and people stare at me. Is body language really important when one goes out for meeting and parties?

 

 

Ans :

There are two types of communication skills : Verbal and Non - verbal. Verbal is when you speak and nonverbal is when the body speaks. Non - verbal communication skills from the body languages. To have a good body language is vital and a major factor in judging one's personality. For more information on body language, call the personality school at 22029541 / 42

   
 

Write to
garygucci2000@hotmail.com to get your queries answered by personality expert Gautam Garry Guptaa, Director (personality development and corporate training division) of The Personality School Mumbai. Or call on 65259077 / 9769821729

 

 

Q

what is difference between public speaking and personality development ?

 

Sandeep Jain

Ans :

Thank you for asking, Sandeep. Public speaking is to do with the vocal aspect of an individual (i.e. how to speak effectively, voice culture, etc). Personality is to do with presentation techniques (i.e. communication skills, body language, positive attitude etc) public speaking can be a very important factor in determining one's personality, though!

 

 

Q

Dear Garry, What is the most important part of a resume or bio - data ? Is it the educational qualification or the work experience ?

 

 

Ans :

Khushro, when applying for a job, the most important part of the resume is the work experience. Even if it is the first job you are applying for, there must be a mention of some involvement with productivity in your academic life (e g. collecting funds for school charity, active participation in the college festival, creating new strategies to bring about change of any sort... basically ways to show that you possess an industrious nature). Do not only list the jobs that you have accomplished, but describe them in detail.

   

Q

Where can I get information on cell centre training ?

 

Vikas kapoor

Ans :

To get information on cell centre training. cell The Personality School on 22029541 / 42

   
 

If you have any such queries, do not be afraid to ask, write to us at garygucci2000@hotmail.com

   
 

Gautam Garry Guptaa Director Personality Development & Corporate Training Division The Personality School Mumbai
Tel No : 65259077 / 9769821729

   

Q

Hi Garry, I have a habit of stammering in public, which leaves a very bad impression of me. Can you suggest how I can improve and also recommend books that I can refer to ?

 

Manasi

Ans :

Hi Manasi, stammering is a physiological problem and can be best cured by a speech therapist. It really cannot be cured through books. Your best bet would be to call up a good hospital such as leelavati and speak with somebody in the voice clinic department. Mata Laxmi Hospital at Sion would also be able to help you.

   

Q

Hi Garry, can you recommend books that can help improve body language

 

Amit

Ans :

Amit, you can get books on body language at Strand, Sterling Book Stall (Fountain), Danai (Khar) and Granth (Goregoan).

   

Q

I am an electronic engineer. I hesitate while speaking in English but my written communication is good. Can you suggest a way in which I can overcome this problem ?

 

Shaikh T. A

Ans :

Mr. Shaikh, don't worry at all about your problem with speaking in English. It is extremely common. There are two areas that you can work upon, the vocal (Public speaking) and verbal (fluency and pronunciation), For more information, call Reena at The Personality School

   

Q

My sister is studying in class 12, Home Science at SNDT. She's highly confused as to what to do after 12th, Please guide us on available courses and about foreign institutes in Mumbai.

 

Gunjan

Ans :

Dear Gunjan, you are going through the same problems that I did when I was in class XII. There are good counselors in Mumbai who could give your sister Direction and make a wonderful career plan for her. One such counselor is ECO Pvt. Ltd. The phone number is 56603317/8/9

   
 

Write to
garygucci2000@hotmail.com to get your queries answered by personality expert Gautam Garry Guptaa, Director (personality development and corporate training division) of The Personality School Mumbai. Or call on 65259077 / 9769821729

   
   
 

 
 
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